Harry Potter and the Forgotten Homework
by rosepetal704
Summary: The first in the Potions Class series: A parody in which Snape asks Harry why he doesn't have his homework, and Harry explains...


_Disclaimer: I'm not J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. And I got the inspiration for this story from thisbehecate's stories on HHPP, so if anything looks familiar, that's probably why._

Severus Snape was in the potions classroom, waiting for his class of fourth-years to arrive. For last week's homework he had assigned them to write a paper on if they could brew any potion, what would it be and why. Not too difficult, even that dunderhead Potter shouldn't have had a problem on it.

"Homework out," Snape commanded once the class was seated. When he got to Potter the boy didn't have his homework out.

"Where is your homework, Potter?" He sneered.

The boy looked at him blankly. "_Homework?_"

"Yes Potter, _homework._ Where is your paper on what potion you would brew if you could choose anything?"

"Paper?" the boy said confusedly.

"Are you being stupid on purpose, Potter?" Snape began threateningly.

"Oh, _homework!_ You see sir, I don't have it! So obviously I can't give it to you."

"Potter, why didn't you do your homework?" Snape growled. "Fifty points from-"

"Wait, sir, I can explain! I've had a very busy and stressful week..." his voice trailed off.

"Go on."

"Well, last Monday you told us to write a paper about what potion we would brew if we could choose anything and why, to be handed in this week. So Monday after classes I headed to the common room and started to write my paper with much eagerness and enthusiasm."

Snape snorted.

Harry frowned at him and continued. "Well, unfortunately Hermione was in there with her cat, and apparently Crookshanks decided he wanted to eat my homework, and I ended up spending the rest of my day running and hiding from him. "

Some of the class giggled and Snape glared at then.

"Well obviously I couldn't write a paper while I was running and hiding, so couldn't do it Monday. So the next day, Tuesday, after my classes I went back to the common room to write it. I always write better after I listen to some music, so I took out my iPod and put on some Taylor Swift."

"What's an iPod?" Someone asked.

"It's a kind of muggle device that plays music," Hermione answered.

"But muggle devices don't work in the school, Potter," Snape said.

"Oh," Harry shrugged, "Well I didn't know that. Anyway, just as I was listening to my favorite song, Love Story-"

Some of the muggleborns giggled here.

"-a group of Gryffindors came in. They asked what I was listening to, so I showed them all about my iPod, and even let them listen to it. But they made fun of me for liking her! I couldn't believe it; my favorite muggle singer, Taylor Swift, and my friends all laughed at me for listening to her! So of course I couldn't do my homework after that."

"And why not, Potter?"Snape growled.

"Why, Professor!" Harry exclaimed, "Maybe you didn't hear me right. I said that my friends all made fun of me for what kind of music I like! I _couldn't_ do homework after that! I spent the rest of Tuesday and all of Wednesday sulking and having a bad attitude. And it's a bit hard to write a paper when you're being miserable," Harry informed him. "And then, I _would_ have done it on Thursday, except it was one of those days where everything seems to go wrong. First I overslept, and in my hurry to get to breakfast on time I tripped over a book I had left on the floor, fell into my wardrobe, and hit my head, hard. I got so mad at my stupid wardrobe for being there, 'cause if it wasn't there then I wouldn't have hit my head, so I Incendioed it." Harry sighed. "But only too late I realized my mistake. My robes were in there, and by then they were ruined!"

"Well why didn't you just do the Reparo spell, Potter?" Snape said impatiently.

"I didn't think of that, Sir! In the end I was able to borrow some of Ron's robes, but by that time I had missed breakfast, and I was starving! You should _never_ go to class on an empty stomach, so I went on a hunt to find some food. I looked all over the castle, and then I finally thought to look in the kitchens. And by the time I was full I had missed my first two classes, and both teachers took off ten points for missing class."

Snape rolled his eyes. He would have taken thirty.

"Luckily I made it to my next class though, Divination. Professor Trelawney started predicting my death and all the miserable things that would happen to me, and that left me in an even worse mood then I was already in. When classes were finally over, I decided to play wizard's chess with Ron, and I really thought I would beat him this time. He always wins, you see, and I really wanted to win this time, so it was such a disappointment when I lost _again!_ I always lose EVERYTHING, and it's not fair!" he wailed.

Snape just looked at him.

Harry took a deep breath and continued. "With all my other homework to finish I didn't have time to write your paper. And I couldn't do it Friday either, because I had Quidditch practice right after classes, and I ended up getting hit by a bludger and spending the night in the hospital wing."

"Well then you could have written the paper over the weekend, couldn't you?" Snape asked, scowling.

Harry looked at him in horror. "Professor! I couldn't possibly write it over the _weekend!_ That goes against everything I believe in! The weekend is a time for rest and relaxation! I _couldn't_ do _homework!_"

"Well, I don't want to hear your excuses, Potter. You could have somehow found time to write it, two-hundred points from Gryff-"

Harry looked at Snape in surprise. "Oh, I did write it, Sir! Early this morning. I just forgot to bring it."

Snape looked at Harry in rage. "You _forgot to bring it? _Then WHAT was that ridiculous story for?"

"Why, Professor, you asked how my week went!"

"I DID NO SUCH THING, POTTER! I asked why you didn't have you homework, and all you had to say was that you forgot it!"

"I must have misheard you then," Harry said sweetly. "Oh look, time to go!" he said, jumping up as the bell rang.

And with that he gathered up his stuff and was out the door, leaving Snape furious with himself for letting that Potter brat get away without so much as a house-point deduction.


End file.
